Saint Hilarion
The Legend of Saint Hilarion is one of the most famous stories in Coptic hagiography, and has recently become more important to transgender/gender-queer people of faith. Written at around 500 AD, this legend is considered one of the oldest ones recorded. Hilaria was born the daughter of Roman Emperor Flavius Zeno, who reigned from the years 474-475 AD and 476-491 AD. During his reign, there were domestic revolts and religious dissension, which eventually led to the end of the Western Roman Empire. Although historically Zeno only had two sons and did not have any daughters, legend says he had two daughters. Hilaria was the eldest daughter, Theopiste was the younger, and they all lived together in the palace at Constantinople.
Hilaria always had a strong desire to remain a virgin and be apart of monastic life. They left their palace in Constantinople disguised as a man and ran away to Alexandria, Egypt, where they met a deacon. The deacon, thinking Hilaria was a knight, directed them to Scetis, a monastery where Apa Pambo met them. After pleading their case and willingness to work hard, Apa Pambo allows Hilaria to join the monastery. Hilaria’s name in the legend gets changed to Hilarion the Eunuch, because their physical appearance resembled that of a Eunuch. During this time, Hilarion engaged in severe aesthetic practices which transitioned their body to loose their breasts and stop their menstrual cycle. “Her breasts were not like the breasts of other women, on account of her ascetic practices they were withered; and she was not subjected to the illness of women, for God had ordained it in this way” (The Legend of Hilaria, 1913). Their eyes were also sunken in and they were very thin from starvation.
After three years in the monastery, the Lord revealed to Pambo that Hilarion was assigned female at birth, but was not aware that they were a daughter of the emperor. Instead of casting them out of the monastery, he tells Hillarion to not let anyone know that they were born a woman. Six years after this, their sister falls ill. Emperor Zeno seeks out healers and eventually sends Theopiste to the same monastery as Hillarion. Hillarion recognizes their sister immediately, but their sister does not. They embrace her and cries over her until the earth was wet with tears. Hillarion is charged to care of her, and allowed her to stay in Hillarion’s room (because they were a eunuch). Hillarion would pray over her, kiss her lips, and would lay together in the same bench (scandalous!). After seven days, Theopiste was healed from her ailment and went back to the palace. Emperor Zeno was very pleased with the results. When he asked Theopiste what happened, she shared that she shared a room with a monk who would kiss her lips and spoon with her in his bed. This obviously concerned Zeno greatly, so he had Hillarion sent to him for questions and also to heal some of his noblemen. When Hilarion arrived, they swore on the four Gospels that they are indeed their long lost daughter. Zeno was staring in disbelief! He eventually came to his senses and embraced Hillarion, sharing the news to Hilarion’s mother and sister. They stayed in Constantinople for three months and then returned to the monastery, where Hillarion lived at for another 12 years. Zeno would sent large annual gifts to the monastery. When Hilarion was laid to rest, Apa Pambo revealed the truth about Hilarion to the rest of their brothers at the monastery. They marveled and praised God for them.
Although the legend of Hilaria is most likely fictional, their story resonated with the Coptics and eventually led to sainthood. Why did this story last? This story is centered around the transformation of this person both spiritually and physically. “It is quite clear that the core theme of the Coptic stories is transformation. At first sight, it appears that these women transformed into men, but that is not quite what is happening. The female monks became likened to eunuchs, who were often known as the so called ‘third gender’ in Byzantine literature” (Tjernqvist, 2017). Some may argue Hilaria only chose to become a monk because they wanted to partake in the privileges and authority of men in her time. However, choosing a life as a Coptic monk would be a life of humility, isolation, and deprivation. As a daughter of a Roman Emperor, Hilaria would have had more power than a monk. In many call stories of medieval saints, women chose monastic life in order to escape their rigidly assigned gender roles, and avoid death from childbirth. Taking a vow of celibacy was queer in the sense that it was outside of the norm at the time, and still is today with asexuals. It is in letting go of one’s privileges and gender roles do these saints find divine transformation…and the fruit of these transformations are miracles. This is a radical statement because for so long women have been killed and arrested for dressing as men, violating Deuteronomy 22:5. The claim Hilarion and other saints who follow similar narratives are making is it is through dressing as the opposite gender God is able to transform us and be a conduit of healing in our world.
As someone who was assigned female at birth and now identifies as non-binary, I have always had a hard time seeing myself in the Bible and in Christian spaces. It wasn’t until I learned more about the role of eunuchs in Christianity I was able to see my gender expansiveness as sacred and valuable to my faith. Through biblical fundamentalism, patriarchy, and white supremacy, queer people have experienced not only oppression, but erasure when it comes to ancient text. Ronald Betancourt says in his essay, “Transgender Lives in the Middle Ages through Art, Literature, and Medicine,”
“The notion that to be a transgender man in the Early Christian world would not have been a radical queer practice is a deeply powerful thought, as is the simultaneous existence of deeply queer transgender women, whose stories come down to us only through screeds of trans-misogyny” (Bentancourt). Apparently there a plethora of stories of faithful saints bending gender and living meaningful lives. If I had known about these stories when I was younger, I would have been able to make more sense of my life and not feel that it was contrary to faithfulness.
The invitation to transformation is a unique gift transgender folks offer the world. We know about the pain and beauty of carving out a body and a life that goes against the grain of the world. Death and resurrection is a lived reality for us, not a theory or abstract idea. Letting go of our privileges like Hilarion did in pursuit of liberation is central to Christ’s call to take up our crosses and follow him. The Christian life is inherently queer. Not queer as in palatable “love is love” corporate pride floats, but queer as in constantly railing against dominating boundaries and binaries. Trans as in death and pain is not the end, but the grounds of new life and alchemy and wonder. May we all boldly accept this invitation, no matter how you identify. And may we remember Saint Hilarion, and let out transformation be a conduit for healing in our world.
Bentacourt, Ronald. “Transgender Lives in the Middle Ages through Art, Literature, and Medicine .” Getty.edu. J. Paul Getty Trust, 2019. https://www.getty.edu/art/exhibitions/outcasts/downloads/betancourt_transgender_lives.pdf.
Tjernqvist, Madeléne. “Woman Monks of Coptic and Christian Hagiography.” Uppsala University, Sweden, June 7, 2017.
Wensinck, A.J. The Legend of Hilaria (1913) pp. 7-16. The story of the two daughters of King Zeno: Coptic version, 2004. https://www.tertullian.org/fathers/hilaria_04_coptic.htm.